From: http://www.depression.com/causes_of_depression.html
Causes of Depression
Depression has no single cause; often, it results from a combination of things. You may have no idea why depression has struck you.
Whatever its cause, depression is not just a state of mind. It is related to physical changes in the brain, and connected to an imbalance of a type of chemical that carries signals in your brain and nerves. These chemicals are called neurotransmitters.
Some of the more common factors involved in depression are:
- Family history. Genetics play an important part in depression. It can run in families for generations. Hmmm... Let's see. I remember my mother and grandmother staying in their bedrooms for long, long periods of time. It is very hard for me to get up and get going, too.
- Trauma and stress. Things like financial problems, the breakup of a relationship, or the death of a loved one can bring on depression. You can become depressed after changes in your life, like starting a new job, graduating from school, or getting married. THIS is a no-brainer!
- Pessimistic personality. People who have low self-esteem and a negative outlook are at higher risk of becoming depressed. These traits may actually be caused by low-level depression (called dysthymia). I had low self-esteem all through high school (and I guess I still do...), and not so much a negative outlook after my father died, but more of a fatalistic outlook - is that just semantics?
- Physical conditions. Serious medical conditions like heart disease, cancer, and HIV can contribute to depression, partly because of the physical weakness and stress they bring on. Depression can make medical conditions worse, since it weakens the immune system and can make pain harder to bear. In some cases, depression can be caused by medications used to treat medical conditions. Chronic ankle pain can be included, I think. Can't help but be down when even just walking the dogs causes pain and swelling...
- Other psychological disorders. Anxiety disorders, eating disorders, schizophrenia, and (especially) substance abuse often appear along with depression. Lucky for me substance abuse is not a problem (does excessive carb intake count?).
I think that because I have always put on the funny face and been the entertainer it is hard for those who have known me a long time to realize how depressed I've been and am now. "Tears of a Clown" could be my theme song, I guess!
From now on, when someone asks "How are you?" I'm going to tell them my truth. They might not like to hear it, but burying your depression under the rug helps no one, from what I can see. So, put up with me, dear friends and rellies!
I have clinical depression, and since it seems to be affecting everything in my life right now, I figure I'd better write about it.
I'm getting help from the VA (thanks Dr. Schu and Dianne!), and have applied for Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI).
What is depression?
"Depression is not something you can just 'snap out of.' It's caused by an imbalance of brain chemicals, along with other factors. Like any serious medical condition, depression needs to be treated." (From http://www.depression.com/ - see links.)
For those of you who think that depression is an excuse to do nothing, please read on:
"Depression Basics
Some people say that depression feels like a black curtain of despair coming down over their lives. Many people feel like they have no energy and can't concentrate. Others feel irritable all the time for no apparent reason. The symptoms vary from person to person, but if you feel "down" for more than two weeks, and these feelings are interfering with your daily life, you may be clinically depressed.
Most people who have gone through one episode of depression will, sooner or later, have another one. You may begin to feel some of the symptoms of depression several weeks before you develop a full-blown episode of depression. Learning to recognize these early triggers or symptoms and working with your doctor will help to keep the depression from worsening."
The symptoms that help a doctor identify depression include:
- constant feelings of sadness, irritability, or tension
- decreased interest or pleasure in usual activities or hobbies
- loss of energy, feeling tired despite lack of activity
- a change in appetite, with significant weight loss or weight gain
- a change in sleeping patterns, such as difficulty sleeping, early morning awakening, or sleeping too much
- restlessness or feeling slowed down
- decreased ability to make decisions or concentrate
- feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, or guilt
- thoughts of suicide or death"
Pay special attention to the last bullet - for those of you who have been closest to me these past few months, you'll know that I have mentioned suicide and/or death a lot.
Suicide: How easy would it be? Just one glass of orange juice for me, and I'll have choked to death in 10 minutes. About the only thing that's keeping me around is CJ, my dog - she depends entirely on me, and she is the most important "person" in my life right now.
Death: As for taking care of myself healthwise, why should I? Why should I work at staying alive any longer than I have to? If it's the one thing I've learned from my father's death, it's to live each day to the fullest, because you don't know WHEN you're going to check out, unless you're planning to (see "Suicide" above).
Also, think about it - my mother - Alzheimer's Disease; her father and sister - ALS; her first cousin - Parkinson's. My father? Heart attack. His mother? Heart attack. His real father? Heart attack. This appears to be a no-brainer on my part - how would I like to die? Hmmm... Would I want to check out quickly, or hang around drooling? Uh, I think I would want to die from a heart attack, so I'm not watching what I eat, not exercising as I should, and I'm smoking again. Of course with MY luck, I'll have a stroke - GREAT... Get me a glass of orange juice - PRONTO!
Here's what's happening in my life RIGHT NOW:
- Getting a free car from a fellow veteran - '94 Dodge Shadow!
- Will be starting work at a friend's gift shop mid-April!
- Being evicted from present apartment May 1st!
Looks like 2 steps forward and 3 back! I figure if worse comes to worst, I can always live in my car...
But Ruthie - why aren't you looking for a social worky kind of job? Well, maybe because I'm needing one at this point, I don't think that I could help anyone else with their problems.
That's about all I feel like posting right now. Let me know what you think.
